my friend started decorating for christmas
when i enter his living room it smells like cinnamon and pinewood and candles it also smells like rain (even though it doesn’t) it feels wet and cold (even though it isn’t) it feels cozy, it feels heavy warm when i enter i see muddy pathways i see wooden booths i see a small lake at night i see lights floating on it i see a campfire i taste berrywine it is a second of luck (like that one song i still avoid) my other friend moved, i went to say goodbye i drove by that junction (i was scared to death because the car suddenly moved) i drove by that bakery (i tried to get cake for your birthday) i drove by that train station (i picked you up the very first time) there are constructions, so i drive by your street (i want to stop but i never do) i got so many lucky seconds i am so so so busy lately (i still find time to miss you lately) i really thought this would be easier (it is so much harder i don’t want to make this harder but perhaps there is nothing easy) it rained the day you came (in winter, not spring, but there was magic anyways and light) now i don’t know what to say (there is too much) (maybe: and then, of course, she came) (maybe: i open at the close) (maybe: I’m sorry thank you) (maybe: you are loved)
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October 2019
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